SUPPORTING SEL FOR NEURODIVERGENT LEARNERS (WITHOUT MAKING IT ABOUT COMPLIANCE)

I’m so excited to welcome the amazing Kim Lund,  also known in the Instagram-verse as @thelifeofkimmied. She is a passionate special education teacher, Neurodivergent advocate and resource creator dedicated to making classrooms more inclusive and supportive for all learners. Kim shares practical strategies, engaging resources, and encouragement for educators who want to move beyond compliance-based teaching and truly support the social-emotional growth of their students. Get comfy, grab your favorite drink, and dive in. Kim’s post will inspire you to lean into SEL in new, liberating ways, where every neurodivergent learner feels seen, supported, and celebrated.

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I want to start with something simple: our neurodivergent students aren't broken, and SEL isn't about fixing them. But so many of the SEL programs handed to us are designed like they are. Compliance is not connection. Masking is not regulation. And if you're working with students who are autistic, ADHDers, or just beautifully neuro-spicy in general—you already know that.

I’ve been in early childhood special education for over 25 years, and one thing is crystal clear: if we want SEL to actually work for our neurodivergent learners, we have to teach it differently.

Why Traditional SEL Misses the Mark

You’ve probably seen it in your own classroom—a curriculum full of “calm-down corners” and feelings charts that assume kids will magically generalize skills across settings and emotions. But here’s the thing: traditional SEL is usually built on the assumption that students already want to do what’s being asked… they just need a reminder.

That doesn’t hold up when a student is in fight/flight, when transitions are overwhelming, or when masking all day finally takes its toll. Neurodivergent students don’t need another circle time about kindness. They need explicit, visual, and concrete strategies that acknowledge how their brains work—and honor who they are.

The Power of Predictability

When my grandson (autistic, four years old, and the absolute light of my life) went to Disney World with our family, we didn’t just hope for the best. We planned. We watched videos of the rides. We made a social story with real photos. We talked about when it might be loud, where he could go if he needed quiet, and how he could say “I need a break.”

And it worked.

That’s the key: predictable experiences create safety. And safe kids learn. That doesn’t come from scripts or token boards. It comes from being seen, understood, and given tools before the meltdown happens.

Visuals Aren’t Optional—They’re Essential

Visual supports aren’t just for students with IEPs. Visuals reduce processing load, clarify expectations, and lower anxiety for all kids (and let’s be honest—most adults, too). Whether it’s a social story, a break card, or a visual schedule, you’re offering your students a lifeline to self-regulation and agency.

Need a fast visual?

• Snap a photo with your phone

• Add one key phrase or symbol

• Use high-contrast colors

• Don’t overthink it

  
  

One of my gen ed students used to leave class when it got too loud. A simple break card and a quiet routine in my calm classroom gave him just enough structure to return regulated and ready. Small change. Big result.

Thoughtful Design Makes the Difference

The secret sauce? It’s not perfection. It’s intentionality.

✦ Painting a green line from the parking lot to the school door helped our youngest students navigate drop-off safely. 

✦ A whiteboard in the gym showing bus order reduced chaos during dismissal. 

✦ A visual step-by-step outside the principal’s door stopped the revolving parade of unexpected visitors.

None of this took more than 10 minutes to implement. And it changed the culture of our building—for everyone.

SEL That Teaches Instead of Silences

If we’re doing it right, SEL shouldn’t ask students to quiet their traits. It should teach them how to regulate, advocate, and navigate in ways that feel safe and affirming. The real work of SEL isn’t just about being kind—it’s about belonging.

And when we build our classroom tools with neurodivergent students in mind, we’re not just supporting them. We’re creating a better classroom for all our learners.